Day 3: Facing the Truth

	I know the truth will set me free, even when it feels overwhelming in the process!

Hello! Welcome back. You probably thought we would get to the fun part by today, right? It's true, we will! When you start to experience the ah-ha's and the breakthroughs that come from emotional healing, it all starts to be fun, because you feel so much more free and light-hearted. It's like taking a load of bricks off your back that you've been carrying for a lifetime, and realizing you don't have to carry them anymore. It makes you want to jump up and down for joy, and run and play and do cartwheels like a child!

There are two secrets about this process that I'm going to share with you today. The first secret is that you can't go over the mountain or around the mountain; you have to go through the mountain. In other words, you can't go over your issues or around your issues. If you want to be emotionally healthy and authentically light-hearted, you will have to deal with your issues directly.

The only way to heal your anxiety, your depression, your poor self esteem, or your dysfunctional family issues is to face the issues head on. All that denial and avoidance that you've tried in the past obviously didn't work or you wouldn't be here right now. Making excuses or avoiding the real issues never works long term. It's just a temporary fix. Just when you think you've got it all tucked away, it has a funny way of popping up again in your life, just where you least expect it! So you may as well face the truth that if you want to feel truly light-hearted, you'll have to do the emotional healing work it takes to get from here to there.

But here's the good news! Are you ready? The second secret is that the truth about your life that you've been avoiding all these years is never as bad as you think it's going to be. Too often you drink, and do drugs, and become workaholics, and get addicted to all kinds of other things because you're so terrified of facing your own emotional pain, only to find out in the end that it was a big waste of time and energy, because the truth about your life wasn't nearly as bad as you thought it would be.

You could have been through the worst of your healing process in a year easily, if you had simply made the commitment to do your emotional healing. Once you make that commitment, all you have to do is keep trucking on down the road and working through the issues that arise until you get to light-heartedness!

So here goes. Shall we get started? If you suffer from anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, or the affects of childhood abuse you probably know you grew up in a dysfunctional family. But do you understand exactly what that means? There are different levels of dysfunctional families, from the mildly dysfunctional families we talked about yesterday that simply didn't have the information they needed to raise healthy children to the more severely dysfunctional families, which we will discuss more in depth today.

If you grew up in a severely dysfunctional family, one or both parents of your parents were probably addicted to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, relationships, gambling, religion, workaholism or control. You may have been verbally, physically or sexually abused at a young age. More than likely your parents were so overwhelmed with life or so self-centered that they were not interested or able to meet your physical and emotional needs.

If you came from a severely dysfunctional family, you were probably not encouraged to be yourself or to express your feelings and needs. More than likely your family lacked the qualities of honesty, integrity, love, harmony and respect. You probably were not able to develop healthy self-esteem or a strong sense of who you were as a person. You may have learned to survive the emotional pain and suffering in your family by developing symptoms like anxiety or depression or by developing survival skills like denial, dishonesty, manipulation or control. You probably didn't realize what was wrong or why you felt the way you did.

Today, in the flash movie, we're going to look at what really happened in your childhood that affected you. It's important to breathe deeply while you watch this flash movie. Breathing deeply helps to keep releasing the emotions that arise. Remember that facing the truth is the only way emotional healing will occur.

We're not going to spend years mucking around in the swamp and blaming your parents for your life, we're just going to face the honest truth and deal with it, so that you can heal the past and make your life in the present what you really want it to be.

Are you ready? Great! Let's take an honest look at your childhood and your family and see what we find, okay?

Pause and Reflect - Click here to download the questions below in a word document.

1. Please write a paragraph about your relationship with your Mom as a child, and then another one about your relationship with your dad as a child. If your parents weren't in your life, write a paragraph about your caregivers.

2. Did you feel loved and nurtured and supported as a child? What did you need emotionally that you didn't receive?

3. Were you neglected or abused in any way, physically, verbally or sexually? How old were you when it happened? Did anyone help you deal with it emotionally? Did anyone tell you it wasn't your fault?

4. Was there any alcoholism or addiction in your family? How did that affect you? Did your parents stay together? If not, how did you feel about their divorce?

5. Were you encouraged to express your feelings and needs? How did your parents express their feelings to you?

6. Before you finish, please write a few paragraphs about how you feel after doing the homework today. Remember the hot pen technique; just write, write, write! Focus on your feelings as much as you can.

Hey, you’re doing great! I’m so proud of you for deciding to face the truth about your life head on! I know sometimes the truth hurts, but trust me; you’re going to be so happy that you did it! I can hardly wait to see the changes that will come in your life as you keep on trucking down this road! It’s going to be a wonderful, magical experience!